Things I Never Thought I Would Have To Learn In My 60's

I told you that Laura has her own dictionary, which is an amalgamation of Dan Webster, current colloquialisms for her generation and Laura's own creations.  The other day, Laura was preparing a fund raising letter for her July trip to Haiti with me, her brother Nate and a group from our church. I am returning to my old stomping grounds for a week.  I did promise the folks at work that I bought a round trip ticket.  It was nice to think they were going to miss me, but my suspicion is they would have been just as happy if I could leave my brain in a jar connected to my computer.  (Raising my left hand now which is a sign that I am being sarcastic.  I know they love me! oops there goes that hand again!) So.... Laura is typing her letter.  She asks me.  "How do you spell constipating?" (Me) That is not a word. (Laura) Yes it is. (Me) Use it in a sentence. (Laura) I am constipating my trip to Haiti. (Me) Do you know what Constipation is? (Laura) Papa!  Yeeesssss. (Me) Well c

So ... the twins are 16 which means that I have been teaching them to drive.  In fact, Laura just received her driver's license in the mail. I have been vey careful to instruct them in defensive driving techniques and they have been doing rather well.  Ok, I admit that there are some lessons that may be a little over the top, like my lesson in physics and centripetal force as it applies to passengers in a car going around a curve. Or maybe the lesson on hydroplaning when it rains and how friction is reduced which affects braking distance.  Oh yeah, maybe the one on how the engine cooling system works and also supplies heated air in the car.  I thought they were great points .. but I may hold the minority view.  I think the kids were more concerned about keeping the car on the road. I decided to let Laura drive into Montgomery, on Vaughn Road.  I was busy talking to her about what was going on around us and how important situational awareness was in avoiding accidents.  We were